Adapting Your Creative Practice for Pain Days

Last night I slept about 2.5 hours. I woke up at 3:00 a.m. and couldn’t fall back asleep and today my hands hurt so much that I can barely make a fist. As someone who makes a living with her hands and spends most days creating, those moments can feel discouraging. The days my body can’t keep up with my mind can cause lots of frustration.

A few years ago, I probably would have looked at a day like this and decided that art was off the table. Living with chronic illness has slowly taught me otherwise. Creativity doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing experience. Sometimes it looks exactly like we imagined, and sometimes it takes a different shape.

One of the ways I’ve adapted my creative practice is by keeping my art journal pages at different stages of completion. Some pages are completely blank and waiting for inspiration. Others have backgrounds, collage layers, or scattered marks. Some are nearly finished and only need a little attention to feel complete. Having an art journal full of pages in various stages means that no matter how I’m feeling on a given day, there’s usually a page that will match my energy level.

Today is what I call a sticker day.

My hands don’t have much strength or dexterity for detailed work, but I can still sit quietly with my art journal and flip through my sticker collection to add little bits here and there. It doesn’t ask much of me physically (or mentally for that matter), yet it still allows me to be creative.

I’m always in a much better place mentally and I feel calmer when I give myself these small creative moments. I think one of the hardest parts of chronic illness is the constant negotiation between what we want to do and what our bodies are able to do. I’ve always been a person who enjoys being productive. I love starting projects, working around the farm, and bringing ideas to life. When pain, fatigue, or brain fog interrupt those plans out of nowhere, it can feel heartbreaking.

I’ve learned that fighting against my limitations usually leaves me feeling worse. So I’ve tried to build creative practices and techniques that work alongside my body rather than against it.

Art journaling is flexible, forgiving, and adaptable. I do not need to create a spread from beginning to end. I love the freedom of grabbing my journal and a folder full of large paper for new backgrounds, or the folder of ephemera bits so I can flesh out a page. I don’t have to have tons of supplies with me, I bring with me what my energy level and location will allow. Today, as I’ve said, is a day in bed with my art journal and sticker collection.

If you’re a fellow spoonie, or someone who is struggling to find their way through grief, or you are lacking motivation to start something creative, I hope this serves as a gentle reminder that your creative practice doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s and it doesn’t even have to look the same every day.